I was browsing through my emails the other day, and found two emails my friends have sent me, when I was down and in a different mind set. I will never for get this, when you think you have no one that cares or pays attention to you, look around, the people you need are right there beside you.
These emails are in response to a blog post I wrote some time ago.
God is a God of compassion and meekness, He has never put anyone down for not understanding Him in all His glory. If he was really saved he would understand that the same compassion that God showed him is what he should be showing you.
True Christianity is not about making people feel inferior, its spreading the gospel (the good news) and encouraging other people in the Lord. I know that you may have been through some tough times that are making you question God's existence, but girl, if i know one thing for sure, its that God is real!
We are not our ultimate source. The world does not run at our orders, God has given us choices, and He hopes that we choose to serve Him, but regardless of what we do, He loves us and cares for us ... until the day of judgment. People all over the world ultimately cry out to Him because He alone is our source. Visit a hospital, the biggest baddest toughest gang leader is begging for mercy on his death bed, visit a prison the hardest criminals are begging God fro mercy, look at families who never believed in "God" as soon as they hear the words Cancer ... everything is about God!
He is real Jacinta, but you must come to know HIm for yourself .... and not make judgments on Him based on what church people say or do.
It may take you some time to fully comprehend it, it may even take a life changing event for you to fully experience HIm, but He loves you now and He cares fro you now. He has favor on your life, He opens doors of opportunity for you and He provides for you. It's not for us to understand, its for us to say Thanks. Nothing in this world happens by chance or accident. We all need to get to the point where we understand that our Lives are ordained by God, He has a purpose for each life and it is our duty to surrender to Him and walk in His will. The problem with that is we think that what we can do for ourselves is better than what God can do for us, so we fight Him. My big lesson came a s a purple monster named NYU. I fought hard to get into that school because i believed that its what i deserved. I got it and from day 1 i was struggling. To this day im still paying down my tuition from spring 2007. But I needed to have gone to NYU. Like many others i got caught up in the brand name of my school and what it could do for me and forgot about the promises that God has for my life. Everything became NYU this and NYU that. Now that its all over and i can look back and see clearly without denial, God had to remind me that He is in control and His plans are best. Im at City College paying no tuition. My scholarship was based on me starting WEST, which i did with the resources of NYU. And even now that im no longer at NYU, while i was there God led me to the right people begging for financial help. Those people gave me a job and they fund WEST and allow me to benefit from their connections. I have a 3.8 gpa so my academics stress is out the window. I have met two great women who i believe will be my friends for life. And now that i dont have the brand name to glorify, I can see that it is only He who has brought me this far. You dont even want to know the story of how my family ended up in that financial mess and the history of domestic abuse that my mom and i had to endure ..... But we're still standing. And standing Tall.
And you can say oohhhh Jay you're just a strong person, but the reality is, there are many women and college bound students who share the beginning of my story but you can count on one hand how many share my middle .... and by the grace of God, i have a successful end. People have lost their minds and all hope going through what i've been through but God kept me. Even now evrythin is not peachy creamy, but God is showing more and more each ... that i will continue to be blessed, but i have to give credit to Him because His plans for me and way better than the ones that i could try to do for myself.
Jacinta, your life has been ordained by God. Every situation, everything, everyone is a part of His purpose for your life. Something negative that may be hammering you down right now, but it will be your testimony to deliver some other young woman from her struggles. You don't need to understand everything right now, just trust HIm. And that doesnt mean being perfect, it means being honest with God and trying.
**************
Jacinta,
As i sat here today in the pods sending out emails to the 3AM group about tomorrow's meeting my mind kept thinking about you for some reason. In particular your current religious disposition. Now by know means Jacinta i love you and will never judge anything you do but just wanted to share my thoughts with you. I dont know why for some reason i felt so impressed to tell you this but I guess that God decided to use me to speak to you. I am sinner myself and know that things often may not work out as plan but nevertheless we should trust in God. I dont have the answers to why things the way they are but I have faith. I felt impressed to share with you that i remember the day when things didnt go your way you trust God, and will get into your moments and blast your gospel music and as terrible as you sing i could hear you in my room singing to the tunes.lol...and i knew at the moment Jacinta is having a moment with the Lord leave her be as she meditates in silence. and i currently notice that now God has become a big question for you, im not sure y you take this stance now and would love to sit down and talk this over with you..but Jacinta my dear even when u think he is not there he is carrying u the whole way thru so whatever is bothering you now that you currently doubt his presence i know one day you will again feel that love for him again.... this is all i have to say and as type to you now i literally feel as my hands are moving by God;s will and not mine...its scary cuz i never speak to you like this and some reason i felt that i had to talk to you today...i know im not the best example of a God fearing christian women but Jacinta dont give up on the Lord ..dont give up......
read this thought......
"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.'
When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but
merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on
this sentence... 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of
God will not protect you.'
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